Wanna Be My Friend?

Do you remember the first friend you ever made? I'm willing to bet that you don't because there was probably nothing memorable about it. You're four years old playing in your sandbox and over walks the neighbor kid who plops down alongside you and next thing you know you're best buds. Or maybe you are five and at your first day of school and the little girl with pigtails comes up to you and says she likes your lunchbox and you eat lunch together every day for the next 13 years.

Making friends used to be so easy! You could walk up to another kid and say "hey, wanna be friends?", she'd say "ok" and off you went skipping and holding hands. Why can't it be like that when we are adults? Somewhere between lunchboxes and 401K's making friends gets complicated. There are so many factors... do they share the same political and religious views? Are they single, married, divorced, gay, straight, bi, transgendered, yuppie, hippie, with kids, without kids, geeky, sporty, trendy, a smoker, a drinker. It's exhausting. Why can't I go up to some nice looking person at the coffee shop, plop down next to her and say "Hey, wanna be friends?" Well, I could... if I don't mind odd looks and rejection.

There was a period in my life a few years ago during which I needed to make some new friends so I hopped on the myspace bus and managed to find some pretty amazing people who I'm glad to say are still in my life (and some that I'm glad are not!). It wasn't easy putting myself out there, but hiding behind a keyboard before an actual face-to-face meeting suited me well. But I was also different then, or at least in a different situation that I am now. I was single and I was in my 20s, both very important factors. It's easier to make friends when you are single because you tend to go out a lot in large groups of people, talk to everyone you meet and everyone wants to date you.

Now I'm in my 30s and I don't live that lifestyle. I'd much rather be home watching jeopardy and grilling than going to the bar. Leave for the bar at 11? Yeah right, I'm in bed by ten, sister! So I have the option to join clubs. They have clubs for everything now from reading books to meditation to various sports and hobbies. I've looked into them but just haven't found my niche. Where's the group for cool, laid-back chicks who like to do a ton of fun things and just need people to do them with?

So I got back on myspace, but I'm not having much luck there. I look through profiles of people in my area and send a few messages that basically say "hey, wanna be my friend?" but not in so many words. Next I tried an ad on craigslist and I've had a few bites in the first day I posted it, so we'll see where that leads. I joined a kickball league that starts next week. At least I feel like I'm doing something. I realize that people aren't going to come knock on my door. Oh if there were only door-to-door friendship salespeople! With warranties! If one friend doesn't work out, exchange her for another or get your money back!

I would love an encyclopedia of new friends of all shapes, sizes, and colors to hang with and learn from who will knock on my door on a random Tuesday night and ask Nicole if I can come out and play.

If I don't know you and you're reading this, wanna be my friend??