Change Order

The I Ching says "When the way comes to an end, then change. Having changed, you pass through."

I'm not afraid of change. I mean, look at my life - clearly I'm no stranger to it. I think change is exciting. Change makes us grow. Change leads to opportunities and challenges and living. Yet, there are times, like now, during which I want nothing more to than to go back to the familiar.

I think my "way" is coming to an end and I'm facing changes that I thought I was prepared and ready for, but am finding out rapidly that I am not. I have everything I've ever wanted - a great job, a house with a huge yard, a loving partner, a few close friends I would walk to the ends of the earth for, two cats, a bike and the ability to ride it, and family that I adore. Yet, I have days where I feel as if I'm so profoundly alone and have no bearing on this world and those are the days during which I know that I am in the midst of a change...waiting to pass through...

But if you know me at all, you know that I'm not a patient person. Sure, I may seem patient at times, but I'm mostly just being polite. I like efficiency and I like instant gratification. This is where I get into trouble when it comes to the subject of change. Yes, change! I'm all for it! As long as it's NOW. I'm at the drive through window for change. Have a seat and order change? No, that won't do.

And so it is that I'm having a hard time being patient about the changes currently taking place (or not yet taking place, ugh!) in my life. I'm not sure what I thought it would be like. I guess I thought I would hit the ground running. New instant life, coming right up! WITH a side of social life and a tall glass of possibility. Instead I'm stuck waiting for a booth while the servers are on a smoke break. Sure, I try getting their attention. I even sit down at a couple of tables hoping to get served, but it is no use. I'm not yet meant to dine...